One of my biggest trials as my tiny feet were taking me into a path that is known as spiritual was the self-satisfactory fantasy of thinking I was walking it alone.
For as long as I remember, and many would relate, I was a rebel soul that wanted to change the world and would take on a belief in a cause or in someone until something changes and the reason behind the cause fades and the rebel faded with it.
A being that wanted to simply belong to something, feel supported, honor others and honor oneself as life lays the challenges and the bread crumbs on the way.
Wearing the same costume to school, the struggle within built up between playing the colors of a costume that was not even fitting to running away and hiding from the overwhelming feeling of others and their own little agonies. I pleaded for God’s little time to spare for my prayers and cries for help as I was watching the girl and the teenager getting lost; not knowing where to go, what to do and who will bring them back home.
When I look at this story, I ask myself: Isn’t this exactly what we are living now and is it really strange to us or is it revealing the parts that are calling us back home?
Running away from the reality that we lived while growing up helped us create and eventually reveal the hidden worlds inside of us. We know those worlds. They are comfortable and squared. The grounds can be stones of judgement, pain and sadness, the binding clay fear, shame and guilt. The corners a field for the traumas shared with others. The scenery gloomy and closed with walls that got thicker and thicker by heavy shades and a big sign: “No trespassing” hanging on every corner and doorway.
Until when can we keep hiding in those worlds that have created separation within us and between us?
Yes, we are being challenged, many times every single day to open up more and more to see with clarity what is going on inside of us as the world the way we knew it is revealing the illusions that we built and believed in for a long time.
We are also getting to know what we love and are truly passionate about. What makes our heart sing and our soul dance for us to feel more alive and share this with others and inspire them.
Opening up to Spirit gave me the first breath of life again but I had to die, many times, to who I thought I was in order to become a whole being again and help others on their dying journeys.
It awakened me from the bones and brought joy to my heart and body to be the girl, teenager and woman that I am today. This is possible for every single one of us.
When we know death, we are not scared from living any longer and we are not challenging life but honoring it.
Dying more than once until death becomes a visceral and integral experience of life itself.
Be inspired.
In Love and Medicine.
Maya Abou Chedid
